I think some of those other locations (SF in particular) probably have a bigger radius but a lot of the angst about housing prices turns out to apply to very specific urban locales. And new grads were complaining about the price of crappy Manhattan apartments at least since the 80s.
Not sure what extra hours you're talking about. I have a modest (25 min or so) commute when I go into the (suburban/exurban) office and frequently work remotely. I can't say I miss depending on public transit though I use it when I am in a city.
Have you tried a pair of closed-back headphones?
But the distance metric would stick: if you can leave ~7 miles (15 min) outside Raleigh and afford a good land, it compares with Boston area (5-fold pop. density), with 35 miles outside for a house on 1 acre land, and about 75 minutes commute during rush hour (would drop to 35 minutes outside rush hour).