My rephrasing of their follow-up actions:

* "Audit our regular expressions and post validation workflow for any similar issues"

* ==> "Not even people who've worked for years on the guts of regex engines can easily predict the runtime of a given regex, but somehow our engineers will be expected to do that".

* "Add controls to our load balancer to disable the healthcheck – as we believe everything but the home page would have been accessible if it wasn’t for the the health check"

* ==> "Our lb check was checking /index, that failed because /index was slow: Lesson learned, let's not lb check anything at all"