Most millennials are having children out of wedlock. Why? | Hacker News Reader

Most millennials are having children out of wedlock. Why?

theatlantic.com

10 pointsjseliger8 comments

Open articleView on HN

Why not?

I'm not married to my son's mom yet. We just haven't gotten around to it because:

we're not religious

marriage as an institution just doesn't mean much to us outside tax/other legal benefits

proper weddings, then kind you can invite extended family to, are prohibitively expensive

our son is developing just fine without us being married

We'll get around to it eventually, maybe. It's just not a priority right now.

Really, that's the only reason the state regulates marriages: it's all about legal status. It's a way to tell who shares assets, who has the right to make medical decisions, who takes priority for inheritance, and so forth.

That said, I hear things can get unpleasant for unmarried couples in the United States when something unpleasant happens and the partner is not allowed to inherit, visit their loved one in the hospital, and so forth. They're treated like any other acquaintance.

Many European countries will grant the same rights as a married couple to a couple that has been together (but not married) for a long period of time and shares property and financial assets. Might was well get a quick civil ceremony in those circumstances though: that would probably make life easier.

Germany treats marriage entirely as a civil matter. The official marriage is performed in a municipal office by a municipal official. If the couple wants to, they can then have a religious ceremony, but the state doesn't regard a religious ceremony (at least not one performed within Germany) as a legal marriage. I think that nicely highlights the fact that the marriage as regarded by the state and marriage as regarded by religion are really two separate things that often happen to be co-mingled.

The same is effectively true in the US. The folks you see getting "married" in church typically sign the government paperwork (the only part that matters) immediately before/afterward. The church stuff is just for show.

Lots of people in the U.S. get married at City Hall, without ever setting foot in a church.

And if you make a will, you can pass on your property to anyone you want. Visiting someone in the hospital may be an issue, but there are legal documents like health care proxies that enable you to designate someone to make medical decisions for you if you can't do so yourself.

if you want tax breaks, incorporate.

"Most" millennials are not having children out of wedlock. 57% of Gen-X parented births are happening to unmarried parents, which would require 88% of millennials to be parents in order for "most millennials" to be having children out of wedlock. (There are two ways to not have children out of wedlock: one is to be married, the other is to not have children. The "conclusion" in the article ignores the second.)

Simple: We've seen record breaking divorce rates in our lifetime, and wedding ceremonies are a scam.

I've had a few friends tell me that if they got married, they'd get screwed on taxes and health insurance. It's more financially viable for them to remain unmarried. The mother gets a lot of tax breaks for being a "single mother" that they'd lose otherwise.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com