Sabotaging Success, but to What End?
nytimes.com
nytimes.com
"How is that serving me?"
Today was yet another day I didn't start something from my list of ideas. I didn't have to put in hard work, got to relax, and will be able to avoid possible failure for one more day.
Of course, that doesn't stop me from slacking off, but at least I know the true reason why and can try to accept it: I'd rather be comfortable than have a chance at larger success.
I find myself stopping just short of the goal-line at times, leaving projects unfinished. Not sure if this is due to a fear of seeing the end result lampooned by users, or whether it is due to self-defeating programming in my brain that is beyond my ability to detect it. Whatever the cause, when I am able to objectify the situation, it appears to me that I am acting quite irrationally.
Anyone else experience this?
I haven't found the fix yet. Things that have helped me are 1) arbitrary deadlines (i.e. it ships on Apr 3 in whatever state it's in vs when it's done, it helps if you can tie this to an external event) 2) bringing on collaborators, and 3) splitting goals into smaller pieces until you do them (i've had to reduce my goals to "press the compile button" at times), and 4) fake tasks, i.e. add a frivolous feature (actually start it) to the schedule and then do everything else, that gives you some psychological buffer to having to call it finished, and then when you are in a good mood, just cut that feature and ship. :)
I'd love to hear what works for others
Sometimes kids get loaded down with expectations, even expectations to 'redeem' a family of people who see themselves as failures. Or carry on for 'winners'. Who wants to be in that position? That's a heavy load to carry. Some people only 'succeed' after a decade or two of struggling to really understand a problem - then go on to discovery after discovery.
Success can create an expectation of further success. Early 'success' can result from good fortune. That may create a weight that can't be carried. Child actors, for example. Many people do all the right things, but don't promote them ... and get ignored. The world can be very blind.
And there are people who just aren't motivated by what most people call 'success'. Success might mean solving a problem that few understand. Or it might mean overcoming all those expectations and doing what satisfies oneself. Ironically, that might be described as 'self-defeating' by more conventionally-valued people. Schubert and van Gogh had very little 'success' during their lifetimes. Yet they kept doing what they loved ... and damn the torpedoes.