This definitely depends on where you live. Most major cities seem to support at least a few "authentic" Chinese places (and some, like the West Coast cities, NYC, etc, are loaded to the gills with them).
It never felt like these were hidden gems: we just went to Chinatown in NYC, for example. If you're particularly worried about authenticity, you can peek at the clientele and see what percent is Asian.
Is your wife Chinese American by any chance? Anecdotally I've found that Chinese Americans (and all other first gen Americans, e.g. Mexican Americans) are considerably pickier about their heritage food than immigrants. I'm a first gen myself, and saw it in my first gen friends growing up too -- it's a way to feel more attached to your cultural identity, one that you already feel a bit like an outsider in.
Neither of us is American but we've eaten Chinese food in China, Hong Kong, Malaysia and the UK, among other places.