I find this surprising. I've lived in the Bay Area and NYC, and by chance most of my friends in both were immigrants from various Chinese-speaking places. Nobody ever complained about the Chinese restaurants we went to, and some would exclusively go to Chinese restaurants and eat quite happily (they never grew a taste for western food).
It never felt like these were hidden gems: we just went to Chinatown in NYC, for example. If you're particularly worried about authenticity, you can peek at the clientele and see what percent is Asian.
Is your wife Chinese American by any chance? Anecdotally I've found that Chinese Americans (and all other first gen Americans, e.g. Mexican Americans) are considerably pickier about their heritage food than immigrants. I'm a first gen myself, and saw it in my first gen friends growing up too -- it's a way to feel more attached to your cultural identity, one that you already feel a bit like an outsider in.