It's mostly about increasing the size of your filter bubble.
I sleep 7 hours, I'm at work/commuting 11 hours. That leaves me with 30 hours on weekdays to divide however I please (obviously there are other basic sunk costs like basic hygiene and eating). I've found that once I quantify the time I have in life, it's a lot easier to notice when it's available and be productive with it. I'm really not even one of those super motivated people. I just like to be conscientious of my free time.
That said, I do have a kid, and while he definitely represents a huge draw on my time and attention, I still manage to make and maintain technical connections outside of work.
Depending on circumstances, "we have kids of a similar age and both work in tech" is an easy instant connection.