To me the important thing is treating depression the same way as any other health-issue; go to a doctor, be open and honest and try what they prescribe you.
My email-address is in my profile if you have specific questions.
...and take care of yourself. You are precious although you may not feel it right now.
edit: also, it should not be relevant for you if 9%, 90% or 99% of HN are on medication for depression, either you need it or you don't, but other peoples' needs do not factor in.
In addition to a psychiatrist and therapist, you might also want to try group therapy and Talkspace[1]. I've heard great things about both of those, and they're inexpensive.
For me - I didn't like not feeling the really high highs and low lows. That's what life is about in my opinion. Embracing the good and bad. BUT it did help me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. Go to a qualified psychologist/psychotherapist and lay it all out. That's what I did. We talked through options - the good and the bad and in the end I decided to give them a try for a season but it's vital / crucial that you're brutally honest about where you're at with the psychologist/psychotherapist.
My contact info is in my bio - feel free to reach out. I know it's hard and life sucks sometimes but there is help and there are options. Don't give up hope.
There is a common situation where somebody has an interaction that "pushes their button" and overreacts because the person's self image is unstable. Somebody said something, you feel bad about yourself, then you say something stupid and now you have a real reason to feel bad about yourself, etc. Serotonin levels are high in "alpha dogs", and low in low status animals so it would seem that antidepressants could protect against the effects of setbacks in life, social status, etc.
For some people antidepressants can turn all that bullshit off and also turn off anxiety like a dimmer light that takes days to weeks to kick in as compared to the immediate relief of benzodiazepianes. Benzodiazepines impair cognition and memory so they impair the natural process of maturation where you can learn to do get better at things over time. Antidepressants do not impair that process so they go well with any kind of therapy, exercise, light treatments, whatever. Exercise is Rx #1, AD is Rx #2.
Chronic pain is a major symptom of depression and often if you have tendonitis or back pain that inteferes with your ability to work that is a symptom of depression. Chronic pain also can respond to antidepressants particularly Effexor XR and the older tricyclics.
Talk to a medical professional. I can't speak to what's going on in your life, but there is help and there is hope.
Pros (for me, your mileage may vary):
- They helped me to not feel as intensely depressed - They allowed me to see my problems / life in a more logical way which was helpful during therapy.
Cons - I had a few issues with "brain zaps" (http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/11/29/brain-zaps-causes-tr...) mostly from missing a dose. Those sucked. - It took me a few months to ween off of them, which I didn't expect.
If you do decide to go down the meds route I'd also HIGHLY recommend talk therapy and adding exercise to your routine, both of which did wonders for me as I was transitioning off of the meds.
Good luck
Today I'm taking 150mg effexor and got my life back. (never had an OCD outbreak since started taking the medicine) Having said all that, the most irritating aspect of it for me is weight gain. I used to be pretty lean and after almost a year on effexor I gained 13 pounds..