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Comment by sethish | Hacker News Reader

You are skipping the whole section where he asked and she said no. Do you not find /consent/ a relevant part of the conversation?

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Of course consent is relevant. According to her narrative though, she said she didn't want to get into the bath, and then after talking more, started taking off her clothes and put her feet in the water. Then Jake "kind of pulls her into the tub halfway" and starts to "nonconsentually wash" her. It's not clear from the story whether her shirt is still on at this point.

Jacob is certainly guilty of ungentlemanly behavior, lack of smoothness, and pushiness, assuming that her story is accurate and complete, but to call this sexual assault is crazy.

All you nerdy guys out there, if you don't want something like this to happen to you, learn the dance -- there is a sequence and a pace to these things if you want a woman to feel good.

She said no multiple times and he persistently pressured her anyways. As leader in the Tor community and a colleague she looked up to he was in a huge position of power making it easy to coerce her. He physically pulled her into the tub, directly against her clearly stated nonconsent. To not call that just "ungentlemanly" is what is actually crazy here and you should be disgusted with yourself for making it sound like he did no worse than forget to hold a door open for a passerby.

> All you nerdy guys out there, if you don't want something like this to happen to you

If you don't want actively ignoring someone's else's nonconsent and forcing them into sexual contact with you to happen to you- wait wtf?

> learn the dance -- there is a sequence and a pace to these things if you want a woman to feel good

Ah yes, the don't-sexually-assault-people dance. A classic in romantic etiquette. It sure makes women feel good not to be assaulted. Do you read the things you write?

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