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Comment by noonespecial | Hacker News Reader

If you're in a startup and happen to be married, your spouse is a cofounder whether you like it or not. So are the spouses of all the founders.

This applies both from a legal perspective and an emotional one. Plan for it. Write it in to the original agreement. Don't wait for divorce or (worst case) death to find out how much trouble this can cause.

I have to say though, having my wife actually involved, for us, makes everything better. Its much easier to bear the risks and make tough decisions with each other's support. Your mileage may vary.

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Disagree. Your wife is an investor and there are legal and emotional issues to consider, but they otherwise aren't remotely like a co-founder.

That depends on how you choose to manage your company, your work/life balance, and your family system. Erin isn't a pro-forma "cofounder" of my company, but the more involved we've had her get, the smoother things have functioned for us.

Your mileage will clearly vary.

I've worked with founders whose spouses were completely disconnected from the company. They managed the "home front", took care of the kids, made sure the bills got paid.

I've also worked with founders whose spouses were part of the fabric of the company.

It just totally depends, Tony.

Oh, THAT I agree with. I know two husband-wife teams who are badass... And a few more where the wife participates in varying ways but has a day job.

I was taking issue with the "your wife IS your co-founder, whether you like it or not".

My wife has a job and has had no involvement with RescueTime other than a bit o' moral support. If that makes her a co-founder "whether I like it or not", then I have a bunch of good friends and a few family members who fit the bill, too. :-)

That's definitely a good point - thanks for the perspective!

There is a difference. A spouse is your co-founder because the company will affect his/her life just as much. And he/she will be thinking quite abit about the business. I am not sure, however, if your spouse being an official cf is good, and might discourage a third from joining because he/she will feel like the other side of the room hold all the power.

It goes further than that. It can easily be set up so that the first founder and his wife each get 1/4 and the second founder gets half to balance the power. This is done all the time.

The trouble comes when two founders own 1/2 each and one dies or gets divorced and then the spouse asserts an ownership (or worse, control) claim against the startup.

Here in the US, if not specifically set up otherwise, my wife would automatically get my shares (and voting power) in the event of my death. If she then wanted to "just sell the damn thing for whatever we can get for it now" just to get some quick cash, there would be little the other founder(s) could do about it if I had sufficient shares.

Here in the US, if not specifically set up otherwise, my wife would automatically get my shares

Your heirs (or anybody else you wanted to designate in your will) would get them even if you weren't married.

A simple and smart business move with a two-founder setup like this is life insurance held by the other partner, and a buy/sell agreement. That way, if you die, your spouse gets the cash, the other funder gets the biz. In the vast majority of co-founded companies, something like this makes sense, and term insurance is cheap, if you're under 40.

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