The Cosmo-ification of HN continues apace. Next week, esr's sex tips FAQ.
I know someone will very earnestly explain to me how this is on topic but really, it isn't.
I know someone will very earnestly explain to me how this is on topic but really, it isn't.
With my career:
I get bored after 1 year, and have never stayed at a company for more than 18 months. Once I understand a company/team, it's hard to picture settling for this position and the realistic growth prospects forever. I'm always networking to find the next job/startup that is more promising than what I have now.
You can fill in the parallels with women, except these feelings creep in even faster.
The confusing bit is, doing this with a job is rewarded. My salary and reputation is much higher for moving around than staying one place.
It's not dissimilar with women. I've been dating more and more attractive women, and I have an easier time bagging them, then dumping them quickly or converting to a relationship depending on how I feel.
I'm a pretty humble person, but on good days I think I will continue to churn through new opportunities for 10 more years, and becoming a rich startup founder with a cool, hot wife isn't out of the question.
At least with respect to his career, how many HN readers don't think this way?
But more and more days now I feel weary. I don't want to work on tons side projects in case they take off, I don't want to hit on strangers at the bar. I want to work reasonable hours, and come home to a woman that is happy to see me.
But still that voice tells me not to settle... When will it, if ever?
I don't trust my boss/girlfriend enough to talk to him/her about what makes me uneasy, and/or do anything to improve things. So I just cut it off.
I am lucky enough right now to have a woman that I trust 99%. I'm still unsure about moving in and marriage, but you made me realize how important she is in my life. She is a friend and a teammate that I can bounce anything off of. I don't always love what she tells me but it feels better than keeping secrets.
I'm going to do my best to get that to 100%, and make sure she feels the same way about me.
the getting from 99% to 100% part is good. Perhaps you won't be able to get beyond 99% because of something in your past that makes you reluctant to do 100%. 99% is pretty fucking good if you ask me.
On-Topic: Anything that good hackers would find interesting. That includes more than hacking and startups.
So if this story has upvotes, I presume some "good hackers" here have found it interesting.
I think "Marry Him!" matches those criteria (since I submitted it): few if any sources covering mating markets and their incentives in as much depth; the stories match some of the data, as developed in books like Tim Harford's The Logic of Life; I hadn't realized the extent to which sexual politics change as one ages. Consequently, "Marry Him!" seems like it would be interesting to the HN crowd. So does the article on Haskell first impression, with its discussion of monads. To me, both belong.
A "demographic"—think TV viewers—isn't composed of what people like in general, but only why they're interacting with your community in particular. The original primary demographic of HN was "Hackers who are here to talk about Startups." That demographic is very small, so it was replaced by its own secondary demographic, "Hackers who are here to talk about Whatever Hackers Like Talking About."
Now, the secondary demographic is "non-hackers who like talking about some of the same stuff hackers talk about," and the tertiary demographic is "non-hackers who only care about the stuff that the other non-hackers talk about, and don't care about anything that hackers care about."