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Comment by Tichy | Hacker News Reader

Couldn't there be a third way: make demands less strict in society? I remember reading that women in Iceland are among the happiest on the planet, because they are not under so much strain to sustain a relationship forever. It is not frowned upon to break up. Women just move back with families and date again.

Since > 50% of marriages seem to break anyway (if I remember correctly), maybe it would be better to approach things in a more relaxed way to begin with. Maybe then men also wouldn't be so afraid to settle - for a while.

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Someone in the marriage breakup industry told me that 75% of all second marriages fail.

I think we should have five and ten year civil contracts, with options to renew. What you do religiously is your own business.

Someone in the marriage breakup industry told me that 75% of all second marriages fail.

That's the kind of statement to rigorously fact-check before believing it. Most estimates of divorce rates (in terms of percentages of all marriages that will end in divorce) are overestimates.

http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html

Some Muslim groups permit those marriages. I forget which.

That wouldn't work so great for men / women who elect to become househusbands / housewives upon marriage. While the other partner spends those 10 years building their career, they toil away at home cleaning, preparing meals, and raising the kids, only to be left high and dry when their partner declines to renew. Now what are they to do? They have little job experience to build upon.

Unless your solution comes with alimony / child support, I don't see how it would work. And if it did, what's so different about it than getting a divorce?

About 30% of first marriages and 40% of second marriages fail within the first ten years (and, as the parent noted over 50% of first marriages fail-- see table 41 and the appendix table II of http://cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf ). About 20% of each fail within the first five years.

Ten years is not enough time for children to be conceived and raised to maturity in a two-parent home (a situation that significantly improves probable education and life outcomes for a child). Ten-year term contracts are too short to secure the primary purpose of marriage--forming families to raise children--and too long to make a large dent on the divorce rate.

Well, out of 4 siblings in my family there are two divorces. Except that only one sibling has been divorced : twice.

Divorce statistics are very much a case of lies, damn lies and statistics and are of no use in assessing the likelihood of a successful marriage.

For the record, the 'love' concept of marriage is very much a modern day invention. For most of human history it's been a partly arranged affair to provide a solid foundation with which to bring up children. It's still mostly that (about bringing up children) though the wedding industry likes to convince you it's all about finding the right person and having a romantic time.

I agree. There is too much emphasis on marriage in our society. At this point in my life, I'd rather have great friends than an okay romantic relationship.

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