> These configurations disable universal features, so the premise holds.
> These are browsers that choose parts of the standard hodge-podge and they suffer for it by not being able to display all pages.
So, the Web is not broken because all browsers which use a feature are able to display pages which use a feature — anyone who disables that feature is responsible for breakage due to pages using it, and anyone using a browser which doesn't support that feature is responsible for choosing such a browser.
Your logic would justify every vendor-lock-in attempt from Apple & Microsoft; it would support the idea that all the Internet's IE.
> But your expectations of how the Web should work are _broken_
No they most definitely are not. My expectations of how the Web should work are based on mathematical truth. REST is symbolic manipulation: it's correct in the way that only math can be.
> Whether it's 1996 or 2016, the only way your reality could come true is if there was an HTML-first programming style enforced universally.
Not HTML-first, resource-first. Figure out what your resources are, figure out how they are related, figure out what behaviour makes sense, then wire it all together. Once you have all your resources (images, HTML, whatever) working well, then feel free to wire it up with JavaScript.
HTML's power is that it is declarative, not imperative. It shares that character with plain text: when you read my words you do not give me root access to your brain. No-one should be forced to execute unknown, newly-served code in order to read a document.
When you require JavaScript, you break the Web. Please don't.