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I see - I just added links to lists of most emojis to the header: http://whatmoji.com/

I hope this helps you waste a few minutes! :)

I'm not really up on how text rendering works; what's it mean if I can see some of those, but not others? e.g. I have Rocket but not Helicopter; not Steam Locomotive but Railway Car and High-Speed Train; Taxi and Automobile but not their Oncoming variants; Toilet, Water Closet, and Bath but not Shower.

Is there something I need to install, or something? I'm on Win7 with up-to-date Chrome and Vivaldi, and they're both the same way.

You would need to have an up-to-date font that contains glyphs for these specific emoji - your computer gets an integer key (a code-point) and needs to have a scalable image in its lookup table to substitute for it. I have no idea how exactly to get a new one for Windows, sorry :-\

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