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That's nice, but isn't it still a violation of net neutrality?

It's gaming the violation of net neutrality that already exists because of the ISPs.

Is not wanting to peer with somebody for free a violation of net neutrality?

Yep, but if anyone else notices they lost corresponding bandwidth they could set up their own such tests and demonstrate the disadvantage.

Depending on their public-spiritedness, Netflix may make it easier for sites to set themselves up with it.