University Title Generator | Hacker News Reader

University Title Generator

universitytitlegenerator.com

75 pointsashitlerferad24 comments

Bottom line with universities is that an army of various administrators will all make six figures for doing stuff that perhaps anyone could do, but "can't" because having experience in the cryptic and domain specific bureaucracy of higher ed is mandatory.

Meanwhile, they'll try to pay all their developers and IT staff sub $50k yearly only to conclude that poor results and inability to fill positions mean they should have everything sent to Drupal subcontractors. Particularly since nobody's interested in the Peoplesoft/Oracle positions they happen to pay much more for, either.

Hey it's my life in a nutshell.

These are sadly quite plausible titles.

Assistant Executive for the Committee on Athletic Partnerships

Estimated salary: $373,727

Is that "Assistance Executive...", or "Assistant to the Executive..."? I imagine that would change the salary, no? lol ;-)

Notice how 5 out of 10 of these title have the word "committee". It makes me think about politics and all the nasty quotas or irrational ideas.

But finally I found someone who created an app that I like, it has a purpose!!!

First ten examples: Associate Coordinator of the Subcommittee for Athletic Compliance Associate Assistant Coordinator of the Committee on Alumni Outreach Executive Associate Chair of the Committee on Learning Relations Deputy President of the Subcommittee for Academic Outreach Deputy Vice Chair of External Technology to the Subcommittee for Donor Communications Assistant Chair of Internal Affairs to the Office of Academic Relations Deputy Vice Chair of the Office of Academic Services Principal Assistant Liaison to the Office of Academic Partnerships Lead Associate Chancellor of the Task Force on Academic Affairs Lead Deputy Chair of the Task Force on Neighborhood Planning

All this needs is a way to input a real title and calculate the salary from it.

Would whoever made this website please don their sponsorship jacket.

Ha! The first job wasn't prestigious enough, so I pressed the button... and was downgraded to:

    Acting Assistant Liaison to the Task Force on Neighborhood Climate

    Estimated salary: $23,899

So... a grad student?

It said salary, not fee.

How sure are we that these jobs are fake?

We should consult with the assistant vice coordinator of human resources assistance.

  Vice President of the Committee on Donor Relations

  Estimated salary: $381,384

Sounds like donor relations are a lucrative business.

They are lucrative. Portland State University probably isn't widely known outside of Oregon, but their fundraisers make pretty nice salaries:

  * Foundation President / CEO: $278,000

  * Chief Development Officer: $170,000

Source: http://www.oregonlive.com/education/index.ssf/2015/08/portla...

Universities are a lucrative business. They have this scam where they get to call themselves non-profit.

The only time they contact you: "As an alumni, would you like to make a $500, $1000, or _____ donation to support your alma mater?"

I had professors tell me that they'll always find me no matter where I move. I still got mail from my University for a while...until I left the country. I haven't gotten crap from them since.

I wonder how the salaries are generated. If the titles are a Markov chain, you could calculate the average percentage difference in salary made by each word in a title, and sum them, maybe…?

Vice Liaison to the Task Force on Neighborhood Outreach Estimated salary: $80,465

Is this a synonym title for PR associate (not PR manager, not PR director), or maybe Junior Communications Manager? :-)

In some cases Universities wield considerable power over their neighborhoods: the university police department is the neighborhood police department, the university owns most of the off-campus land, talks businesses into setting up shop in the area and rents them commercial space, shapes urban planning to suit its needs, etc. "Neighborhood Outreach" can be more of a municipal government than a PR department.

Are the salaries random as well?

Reminds me of this: http://winapp2.com/title.html

Following the path from the page's comments, here's the code that generates the titles (and computes salaries based on them): https://github.com/fiatflux/uni-title-gen/blob/master/titleg...

Changing the zoom on this page is trippy.

Executive Deputy Executive for the Task Force on Athletic Technology

Estimated Salary: $158,859

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