Dear Mommy Blogger

This makes me really tempted to a "Dear Tech Blogger" equivalent. The dynamics aren't quite the same, but they're close. The real killer is that in both cases the people buying blogger exposure/goodwill are experts at doing so without making their assets feel like whores. Most people won't do an obvious quid pro quo, but they'll forget everything they learned in psych class as they trade their blog notoriety for special access to invitation-only events, which they'll write about to increase their blog notoriety, which . . . you get the idea. Hey look, there's quid and quo standing together. What a coincidence.

Do you think these people don't know that they'll get more - and more positive - coverage by bringing you in and giving you personal attention? Do you think that's not why they sponsor these little mini-junkets? That's their job, and they're measured by results. They weren't dazzled by your insight or wit. They saw just enough of those things to make you one jellybean in the bag they're buying for their employer. That's the extent of your "friendship" and you'll see that soon enough if you decide their presentation just wasn't inspiring enough to blog "independently" about.

There are some genuinely valid points sprinkled throughout the article. I'll admit the intensity of the writing style is a bit of a put off. But - after getting a bit deeper into the content, I can sense the emotional aspects have built up for some time. When opening up like this, akin to the Jerry Maguire film portrayal, I feel the author deserves some room to work through these things.

The more I read through it, the more I could relate from an 'indie musician' standpoint with all the services, experts, and opportunities to "grow" in the business. This passage particularly struck a nerve:

>There is an entire industry waiting to take advantage of your insecurities when you want to be a better blogger, and in reality all they are doing is shoving tips down your throat about how to make their jobs easier, how to put more money in their pockets by building an army of cookie-cutter bloggers who will keep paying for conference tickets and ‘exclusive’ insider info.

There's so many different avenues to play on musician's insecurities as well - from "Pay to Play" live show things, to forking over $$$ for a "Premium" account on something like ReverbNation, paying for listens/follows/whatever to look more appealing, or participating along with hundreds of others making remixes for other artists on something like Blend.io where all that work is being given over for FREE in the distant, remote chance to be the winner and get exposure or $XXX in a software prize.

In some ways, the article is great at pointing out "If you want to make money, get a real job!" because that applies to a lot of 'cottage industry' or hobby type pursuits. That's just being pragmatic. But, as noted, there's a whole circular industry in the Mommy Blogging realm that is tempting, corrupting, and at the end of it all, pretty much a sham.

Quite a brave piece of writing for a lot of reasons, and I hope the message resonates with a lot of people who could use a dose of "marketing gut check" when it comes to the Mommy market. It's a big industry, sure. Does it need to be playing dirty with these kinds of tactics? I don't really think so, but in some circles, that's just how business gets done, you know, that whole "payola" thing, which I don't think ever really went away - it just evolved with the times.

What I know of Mommy blogging, or blogging in general as a money-making enterprise, reminds me of late-night infomercials on making money in real estate. There's no money in real estate as it's described, but there's sure a hell of a lot of money in speaker fees, materials, and conferences. Shovels and picks, as it were.

Specific to the topic in this article, gawd, does it reek of every sham work-from-home scheme I've ever heard, only "on the internet".

"Professional" photography (especially for children / weddings) can be viewed in the same light.

I know many professional photographers, and with the exception of one who does a lot of commercial work (that requires probably $200k in lights, medium/large format cameras, backdrops, lenses, etc.) the ones who have been able to make a long term living out of it? They make probably half their income "teaching" their amateur competition how to do "shoot like the pros!"

They make a killing off of bloggers and amateurs (usually bored housewives looking to make some money on the side) trying to get started in the biz. People try to emulate them and their social media prowess, their blogs, etc. but what they don't realize is that all the blogs and social media presence are there for is to generate business from other photographers - they get their wedding business from established relationships with venues and coordinators because the customers that come through those channels are willing to pay 10x what someone who finds you online will.

So they'll charge $400 a head for a day-long class with 7-12 paying customers, and that's where the real money is. Privately, they'll admit to this: they know exactly what they're doing. When you're charging $5,000-10,000 to photograph someone's wedding, there's not as much margin as you would think: for that price, you probably need 3 or 4 additional shooters just to get coverage, and that means 10-20 hours of editing photos after the wedding. Those are all other people you have to pay, wedding albums you have to pay to get made because it was part of the package, etc. and by the end of it, they make way more money on an hourly basis off of the classes than they do the weddings - even at $10k a wedding.

So many industries that were "commoditized" have forced professionals to go the "seminar" route. I'm curious if software / app development is next...

The wife and I run a small costuming page, and we get approached regularly by various nerdy publications. I only bring it up because their proposals always reek of the same nonsense as this author has endured in various forms. "Build your following!" "Reach more people!" Who cares? This is a hobby that occasionally makes us a little extra cash, we aren't interested in reaching a billion uninterested eyes, I'd rather reach 100 interested ones.

People aren't half as stupid as a lot of marketers give them credit for, and the vast majority can instantly spot sponsored content or it's cheap cousins. The difference is those kinds of people aren't filling out surveys so their opinions are under-represented.

Although lots of websites are crappy, it does seem like the mommy blog space is particularly bad. I think this is somehow rooted in how women and moms get treated, but I don't know how to articulate that at the moment.

I did the full time mom thing for nearly two decades. I have blogged for 15+ years. I never have done what she describes.

I spend time on HN in part because some people here make real money for real work via the web. I used to be more bitter about not getting the kind of help I want for figuring out how to do what I do better and make more serious money at it, but discussions of the crisis in making money from ads has convinced me that men who know how to make real money online don't know how to effectively do what I do.

So, I kind of have this hypothesis that effectively making money as a woman doing "girly" sorts of things is kind of virgin territory. No, I don't think selling my soul to give reviews of products for sample products or whatever while claiming it is "my 100% honest opinion" constitutes development of the space. That is not something I ever plan to do.

I feel that blogging purely for money is the wrong approach to life. The internet was much more interesting when people had websites because they were interested in things, not because they were trying to leverage social media or whatever.

Couldn't the same be said of most non-mommy blogs as well?

I remember when blogs were just people writing about things they cared about. This sounds more like using your kids to shill products?

And yet, it's another blog post on "You're not doing the mommy thing right!"