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Comment by na85 | Hacker News Reader

> talk to people around you, they’re surprisingly willing to be involved in what you’re doing if it’s interesting and not too onerous for them. Counters the general assumption that if you talk to strangers they’ll think you’re crazy.

Maybe if you're a young woman (as the author is) approaching someone at a coffee shop, then sure.

Reverse the genders and watch the interaction take on a dramatically different character.

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And yet two guys were able to ask everyone in an entire coffee shop what they were working on with a 95% "super friendly" rate. Perhaps some problems are perceived rather than real.

https://medium.com/life-learning/what-are-people-working-on-...

Also there are some big differences in social norms based on which region of the united states you are in.

I suspect that in a coffee shop in a good area, it really is this easy, male or female. People are generally pretty social if everyone is on equal footing, not obviously busy, and not creating discomfort.

Anyone who's tried to get petitions can attest that doing this on a street corner is a much different beast, but I think hallway testing (or lead finding, or whatever else) is more viable than most people think.

I'm also reminded of the study about asking people for their seat on a subway - it's almost impossible to ask, but surprisingly easy to succeed.

Petitions are a different animal. When asking what people are working on you are taking interest in them. When you want them to sign a petition you are asking something of them, and making them take interest in what you care about.

Doesn't seem to matter whether the author already knew that she had a knack for talking to strangers without appearing crazy, or held with the "general assumption" and was genuinely surprised when the experiment turned out well. The important thing is that it worked!

Now, perhaps it will not work so well for every person. Perhaps in the general case people will instead recoil in horror at being approached nicely for small interesting favours. Perhaps a more universal lesson to take away from this is that success is more likely if you play to your strengths, and push every advantage at your disposal. The author is a Cambridge Law graduate, so one might safely presume reasonably skilled at speaking - I'm not exactly sure how surprised she was that she could engage strangers in professional conversation at a coffee shop - but the experiment is available for others to replicate! I'm not sure what parameters would have to be changed for the interaction to take on a "dramatically different character" though, maybe don't get drunk beforehand.

> Reverse the genders and watch the interaction take on a dramatically different character.

I dunno, give it a shot. I generally don't have much interest in just randomly starting up conversation, but when I talk to a stranger about something it rarely goes poorly.

Oh man!!. I tried this once and approached a group of young men at a coffee shop; one of the guys stood up and yelled 'step back terrorist' .

Never again!!

How were you dressed? Were you smiling?

this is true, in business, at conferences and such i am typically kind of shy. One day my fiance pointed out that everywhere i go i end up meeting and talking to people(gas stations, bars, national parks). Then i started applying the same approach to business, and its netted a number of new and interesting contacts.

you don't know if you don't try.

Perhaps some, but in my experience not as much as you're suggesting.

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