"I don't know if I want to do programming/software engineering jobs anymore"
I went through this too. You won't know unless you follow other desires you have and it sounds like one of those is to be a mom.
I am a 42 year old female that has been doing this for close to 20 years. I have 2 kids. Having kids opened me up to so many other things and actually made me better at what I do.
Don't worry about silly stats and being one of them. Worry about what you want and what is best for you.
Now I'm back in school in an unrelated field and realizing that coding can be an asset in the field. I'm working on a personal coding project as a way to get back into things.
My physics prof believes that going to school for computer science is like going to school to learn all how a shovel works, while other majors (like physics) just learn how to use the shovel in order to accomplish their goals.
I don't entirely agree with him, but it made me realize it was never coding that I stopped liking. It was coding about stuff I didn't care about that had killed my interest. (Interest in playing with technology for the sake of playing with technology had faded for me.) Now when I code, it is because the code is a step (one I find fun, enjoyable, and usually relaxing) towards another goal.
So, it might not be a phase. It must just be you are craving more.
And this is how labs end up with terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable.
If scientists weren't so arrogant, they might realize that if we're spending years studying something it might be a bit more complex than a shovel.
If some programmers weren't so arrogant, they might realize that terrible code that doesn't follow any best practices and is completely unmaintainable solves a lot of day-to-day problems in many many fields/businesses.
The beauty of programming and the spread of knowledge today is that you absolutely need not be an expert to make something that works and automates real work in the real world, every day.
Again, "some programmers" (not all) seem to be overzealous in defending some kind of exclusive right to develop software the right way, as opposed to the wrong amateur way.
This irks me a little bit, not meant to be a caustic comment =) sorry if it sounds a bit like one.
I'm well aware that terrible code solves many problems out there. Yes, it's great that people are able to use code to solve problems without being experts. It's also true that their code could be even better if they learned a bit more.
Just because people can do the basic level of something (it's great that they can!) doesn't mean the field is easy or useless. It's especially irksome that the primary reason physicists can hack together dirty scripts easily is thanks to the pioneering work of actual computer scientists.
Actually, the shovel analogy is quite accurate after tweaking a little.
"Just because people can do the basic level of digging holes in ground doesn't mean the field is easy or useless".
Operating an overgrown shovel called "excavator" is not an easy task and requires plenty of training to do it well, yet it's but a tool. And we would still need all the knowledge from civil engineering (totally separate field, though "engineering", not "science") to make any substantially larger or deeper hole in the ground.
All this doesn't make digging holes useful on its own.
It helps to sometimes look from this angle at programming and computer science.
Definitely start a family, but also think about keeping your career too in what ever form suits you.
It is a life of every engineer. But it is always good to choose the options that better suits you.
That you feel any conflict at all about being a mother is a testament to how sick our society has become.
My wife stopped working because she want's to be a full time mother (which is hard work by the way).
I also try to work at home as much as possible because kids grow up so fast it's easy to miss the first baby steps.
Yes we have less money to save and have to skip some things once in a while but it's worth it.
Also some of them made those projects to their main job, so they now work from home and have more time for their children :)