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Comment by wallflower | Hacker News Reader

African-American woman. Born to teenage unwed mother in rural Mississippi. Later raised in Milwaukee ghetto. Molested by relatives at age nine. Runaway, living on streets as teenager. Pregnant and gives birth to son (who died in infancy) at 14. Drug user in her 20s. Extraordinary stage presence and social and Oratorical skills since early childhood.

Oprah

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Take it to wikipedia for a buttered-up 'rags to riches' story, these are all half-truths, and what is missing in this short paragraph is all the STRUCTURE Oprah had at a young age and later in life, just like this college educated story.

Here is another bio on Oprah read between the lines : http://gale.cengage.com/free_resources/bhm/bio/winfrey_o.htm

Her unmarried parents, Vernon Winfrey and Vernita Lee, separated soon after she was born, leaving her to be <b>raised by her maternal grandmother</b>. "She certainly wasn't an educated woman, but she taught me the shape of letters, and she taught me my Bible stories," Winfrey recalled in Life magazine. By the time she was six, Winfrey had moved to Milwaukee to live with her mother.

Winfrey said her father saved her life. <b>He was very strict and provided her with guidance, structure, rules, and books. He required his daughter to complete weekly book reports, and she went without dinner until she learned five new vocabulary words each day.</b> She joined her school's drama club and became a prize-winning orator, winning a $1,000 college scholarship after delivering a short speech entitled "The Negro, the Constitution, and the United States" to 10,000 Elks Club members in Philadelphia.

Great for her. Not everyone wins the genetic lottery on brainpower and emotional resilience.

I know that my own emotional resilience has increased over the years - demarcated by reading the right fiction, oddly enough - but I'm not under the illusion that this means anyone can just grit their teeth and get it.

Yes, taking responsibility is also part of it, but... if it's anyone besides yourself that you're judging, try to have some compassion.

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