Managers I respect would more accurately be described as saying "join the team or get out".
My favorite managers are coordinators and facilitators. They listen to everyone's input, above and below them, and stear the ship towards success. They gauge input commensurate with the experience and knowledge of each person from whom it came. They make decisions with special sauce that can't really be boiled down to words. They're transparent, communicative, thoughtful, available and appreciative.
If the manager has heavy experience and success, it may sound like he's saying "do this my way or get out". For example, Steve Jobs felt he had great taste, and many people felt he was a jerk.
He obviously received input from a huge number of people and couldn't have made Apple successful alone. He discusses how Apple recovered in the late 90s at D5 in 2007 [0]. The NeXT brainstorms are also interesting to watch [1]
[0] https://youtu.be/wvhW8cp15tk?t=23m42s
[1] https://youtu.be/BNeXlJW70KQ?t=2m1s