2016 Police Report: 4 kids were successfully stopped from stealing candy. Parents suing us because kids suffered psychological damage and now have a criminal record, but we all know that this is just caused by bad parenting.
Need more funding to fight illegal sugar highs. Illegal candy is a gateway drug.
They just need some speed, I mean adderall.
Watch if they refuse to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the national symbol, punish them for transgressing private property moral codes... if we have so many armed bureaucrats, they might as well be constantly judging everyone.