Do your best to try and apply the things you've learned to your current job, and devote only some of your free time to stay up-to-date with things. Use the rest of your free time on some hobbies. This approach should boost your confidence in your abilities a bit. When the time comes that you feel especially inspired, use this to get into something like a hobby project or explore a new language.
Over time, dedication to learning will pay off, but you will also need to cross this barrier and say, "Hello, I'm Damon, and I'm actually pretty damn good at this thing.". A lot of advice on the internet says the best way to strike a good job is to be networked in the valley... as if everyone can just do that. So I feel your pain there, but it's still possible to break out if you keep your focus and don't let the circumstances get the better of you. You need to believe in yourself and build your self-esteem step by step.
So, work on bettering yourself (this includes self-esteem, health), instead of trying to get into "a circle".