Simplicity is hard. Let’s go shopping
diveintomark.org
diveintomark.org
"We should go to Barbados for a week. It's only $1000."
"If someone offered to give you $1000, plus an extra week to accomplish stuff you want to do, wouldn't you take it?"
This works with appliances, too: not buying that juicer means getting a few square feet of counterspace and $100.
But time is the most valuable resource there is. Money comes and goes, but would that week of time in Barbados have been better spent elsewhere?
Or, to put another way, what's the point of making money and getting things done if I never feel able to take a break?
Edit: Reminds of Stefan Sagmeister's TED Talk: The power of time off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNuOmTQdFjA
It has been used once. It gets in my way every day.
One of the reasons simplicity is hard is that owning stuff has psychological connotations for everyone involved. A digitial copy of your photograph or document "in the cloud" seems less permanent and less under your control than one on your hard drive, which itself seems less so than a physical copy -- and this perception is at least partly mistaken. Those seeking control and "certainty" may still accumulate paper copies far beyond what is reasonable, all because they have a psychological desire to do so.
IMO, it all boils down to how we value space, time, money, effort/frustration, certainty/risk, efficiency, and a whole host of other factors -- and how accurately we understand those factors. Remembering to account for "a few feet of counterspace" or "a week getting stuff done" are key to simple living.
You're not just trading $1000 and a week to get stuff done, but also a lifetime of happy memories.
For many people -- possibly most people -- what they want to accomplish mostly involves stuff like "going to Barbados", not "putting in another week at $job". If (like me), you have a job you like, or if you have a job that basically consists of accomplishing things that further your own private goals, that might not be the case, but such a situation is rare. Less rare for people on this site, I guess.
Yea, in a heartbeat! I'd take that $1000 dollars and accomplish my goal of spending a week in Barbados!
Edit: I know this seems trollish, but it's probably also true. Although I could have worded it better, my point is that your expectation that people _not_ give physical gifts is no different or more noble than other peoples' expectation that you accept physical gifts. Recognizing that, there's the tried and truism that it's easier to change things about yourself than things about others.
Edit: actually, by convention it is a little rude to ask most people to give you particular types of things for your birthday, unless they are very close to you socially (spouse or significant other, basically).
"I absolutely do not want more stuff. Actually, we're gonna have a box of crap that we want you to take stuff from so we get rid of it."
It's so nice to get older and have friends like that. :-)
I don't know what you mean.
I'm saying that you'll understand what Mark is talking about after you've gotten married and had children and want to keep your family intact.
(I don't know anything about the author's particular situation.)
Often in life you're not presented with win-lose situations. Instead, you're presented with lose-lose situations, and it's your job to choose the least worst solution for everyone involved.
To the post itself: It's a bit more complex than that. If the kids mean a lot to you then splitting up means seeing them less, making the "trade" times stressful for everyone, etc. It's a trade off like many things in life.
But I do agree that there are times that staying can be more damaging than leaving.
He had already made his point that they don't use the TV very often, but the fact that she wanted to use it at that moment definitely weakened his argument. Refusing to plug the TV back in at that point just resulted in pissing his wife off and probably hurt his chances of getting rid of the TV.
Also, I know humor shouldn't be analyzed, but I thought part of the humor in their dialog was that he took a principled stand about a pretty trivial act.
I do have a lot of stuff though, so the cardboard box I got is quite large. I call it by a French name, "garage."
Interested!!!
I'd given up on getting her to buy in, when our house burned down (nobody was hurt). Now we both believe in simplicity!
(also: buy renters' insurance, even if you're poor. Especially if you're poor.)
Hmm...how convenient :)
http://diveintomark.org/archives/2006/06/09/fruit-salad-reci...
Mark Pilgrim is pure comedic power.
On one of my trips back, I found a few big boxes full of my stuff and really couldn't remember what was in them. I'd been out of the country for a couple of years by that point, and clearly hadn't actually missed whatever was in these boxes. I threw them away without even opening them - still have no idea what they contained ;)
One Saturday afternoon, I pulled a box at a time out of the storage closet and the wife and I unpacked it onto the livingroom floor.
Each item either: 1) Got placed in the "we will use it within 3 months"
2) Can sell for at least $20
3) Freecycle / Goodwill / Salvation Army
4) Trash
I made 10 trips to our dumpster and 2 to Goodwill. (Am now working on selling the $20/each items)
What am amazing relief. I had no idea how much that huge pile of boxes was weighing down the back of my mind.
So far, we've encountered 2 things we regretted ditching. Honestly though, the only reason we regret it is that we know we had those things. If we hadn't unpacked those boxes I would almost certainly have bought them simply because I didn't even remember they were in a box "just in case I need it someday"
I am considering just looking through anything, if its a wire that has a 60% chance of being usused forever, scrapped, a cd, scrapped, a tv, scrapped. I want to do the same with my kid's toys (she has lots but plays with a key few (3year old), I mean really the biggest things we use are our computers.
Although I found a use for old textbooks: Computer monitor stands.
Me and my wife have been getting rid of items not valuable enough to sell but too valuable to pitch through that channel for a while now.
It takes real energy to go through belongings and decide what to give to the Good Will or to toss.
To spell it out: the "let's go shopping" meme indicates stupidity on the part of women. Here he's using it seriously to complain about his wife having "difficulty" with simplicity. This in turn implies that women in general have this difficulty, and this is a negative trait of the sex at large.
Maybe I'm being a little sensitive here, but I kind of want to smack this guy.
Even if there were a big, strong man around to read it to her, she would be the first to agree that it isn't a woman's place to stand up for herself.
I really couldn't care less about his wife. I'd just want to smack him if I were her. Or even if I were me. Which I am.
I highly recommend living a minimalistic life style.
You have to be authoritative if you're going to undertake something that goes against the norm.
(EDIT: I hope this isn't coming off as some '50s "take my wife" routine. My point is that marriage isn't about authority, it's about partnership)
In all seriousness, my point is that the person with the more radical view on how things ought to be done has to lead in that instance, and lead with authority. This doesn't imply the entire marriage is about that. But in this instance, yes. His wife would have been more receptive to his point of view if he delivered it with more authority. Passive aggressive "experiments" to prove a point will not influence her point of view and will not carry him closer to the goal of making their lives simpler.
Radical views should be backed by solid evidence of their correctness.
FWIW, I've been living in the US for the past 3 years but I'm not American and neither is my wife - and our couch is far too small to sleep on (we do have an airbed though :))
(Oh, and no offense, but telling my wife "we're getting rid of this television come hell or high water" would have been... less than successful in the long run. Every relationship is different. Good luck with yours.)
Leading by authority alone doesn't scale. Even in places like the military where leaders have almost unlimited power, relying solely on authority is seen as poor leadership. Either you're ultra-charismatic or you just have to make sense to people.
(+) Chris Rock recommends this as a way to get a woman to lick your balls, if you're interested in taking relationship advice from Chris Rock's stand-up act.