This is where fake it till you make can really come into effect. My first paying programming gig was a gambling system for a really cheap dominican/canadian outfit. Pulled it off, made some really good design decision and then bailed when it was obvious the owners were trying to rip off their investors.

It still gave me experience and I used that experience and stories for the next 2 jobs. Hopefully it keeps working because I am way better than I was on that casino job.

I don't think you can become a great programmer until you overcome The Fear. And you won't be able to do that until you have the stress of doing it professionally for someone else. And being able to successfully come out the other side of the project.

This was my bootstrapping process: Got a tech-support job at a software company. During my first week, wrote a company-themed screensaver. Showed it to the CEO. Became a developer later that day.