You know, just once -- not because of politics or practical value, just for the sheer gut-busting absurdity of it -- I'd like to see a department try to make itself more appealing to white men.

"Yep, we were concerned that the elementary education majors were 80% women, so we took a look around to see what factors we could eliminate. We started by looking at the break room, which had sort of a feminine vibe to it, filled with pastel colors, magazines featuring small children, and other things that might make a white man feel out of place or subtly unwelcome. Then we put up pictures of monster trucks, math formula posters, and pictures of successful white man teacher role models. Arnold Swartzenegger? Teacher in Kindergarten Cop. Harry Smith? Much beloved teacher in Lincoln Nebraska. This guy we found on iStockPhoto? Certainly looks like he could be a teacher.

We redesigned our curricula, too, which previously focused on "soft" subjects like how to interact with children and parents. These female-typed skills, while they can certainly be performed by your typical white man, might subtly discourage him from applying. So we broadened the curriculum to include other things teachers might need to know, such as How To Roughhouse With The Kids. And, just between you and me, because you get an A practically for showing up, rather than requiring you to demonstrate expertise in material core to this profession, it helped keep the grade averages of white men up so that they didn't wash out into easier subjects like, you know, physics or computer science or whatever it is white men are actually majoring in.

Previously all students had been required to student teach for six weeks in a room full of small children. We didn't want to give anyone the impression that that was the only thing you could do with an elementary education degree, so we have broadened the practicum requirement to allow alternatives such as "debating pedagogy on the Internet" and "writing edutainment games".

Finally, we had a panel discussion between the two white men we could find -- we were hoping to have a third but he couldn't make it, scheduling conflict because he had a diversity workshop to lead -- where they kvetched for a few hours about how difficult it is to make it as a white man in this industry and how important it was to have more panel discussions. One of them sells a book about the topic. We bought 100 copies and have added it to the mandatory reading list.

We're thinking of doing something about the tragic underrepresentation of Asian men next week. Maybe a Elementary Education Starcraft tournament? The girls come up with such good ideas."