Things have come a long way in that time. I shyed away from medicine ~2007 because the side effects were gnarly and I was scared it would change who I was.

I tryed em out about 3 years ago. It remains among the smartest things I've ever done for myself. The field has come a long way. I'm the same guy I always was, with lots less crushing anxiety.

If it's been a long time, give it another go. "I tried a cell phone in 2003 - it was shitty" sounds crazy. It's apples to oranges compared to what's available today. Turns out medicine is the same way sometimes.

Try again for your family. You seem to care a lot about them.

Finding medication and a therapist that work for you is really hard. It can take a lot of work. But it's worth it. It won't fix everything, far from it, but it's worth it. Just keep taking it one day at a time.

It's a disease. The problem is that there is no unique and universal treatment. It depends on the person.

You should try something like see a doctor and if that doesn't work try something else until it works and it can work and take a bit of time.

The thing about depression is that everybody is different and everybody responds differently to different approaches. Sometimes drugs work, sometimes therapy works, sometimes drugs combined with therapy works, and so on.

Give it another go. Worst case scenario is you waste some time and maybe have some side-effects.

Please try again. What have you got to lose?

I've had episodes in my life where I felt so trapped or constrained or ashamed that I thought about ending it.

I'm really glad I didn't. My thought process was broken. I would have devastated my loved-ones, and thrown away my life for deadlines / issues that no one cared about that much.

I have friends who have survived major depression and are mostly happy now.

There's hope!

Please try again. Please see a physician.

Please make whatever changes you need to make to get back on track. Who cares if you go bankrupt? Being there for your family is the only thing that matters.