Thanks for Ruining Another Game Forever, Computers

The one chess move you can't do on a computer is advance your bishop to your opponent's face at high velocity[0].

[0] There was a cartoon in the newspaper during the Fisher-Spassky world championship which showed the above, captioned with him saying, "My move? Bishop to SPASSKY'S HEAD!" I can't find it online but found another reference to it[1].

[1] http://overlawyered.com/2013/05/card-counting-casinos#commen... (bottommost comment)