Hacker News Reader

Comment by overdrivetg | Hacker News Reader

In the USA, if you were a nerd that was not the victim of bullies and physical violence growing up in grade school, you would be in the slim, slim minority. I'd actually be quite surprised if anyone escaped some kind of violent altercation growing up as a nerd. Sad, but true.

View on HN

I would definitely consider myself a nerd and I never got in a fight or physically hurt. I can't think of any friends that did either.

The vast, vast majority of violence that happened at my school (and we had a fair amount) was between unpopular, non-nerdy kids with homelife problems.

Same here on all counts. Without actual numbers, I have a hard time believing the previous assertion as anything more than anecdotal (as is my statement).

Wow, you guys are lucky (or maybe I'm just unlucky?). I guess it's hard to avoid generalizing from our own experiences though, glad to hear some of us made it through unscathed ;-)

Maybe in the 80s, but as a 22 year old physical violence has never happened to me or any of my nerdy friends. Verbal abuse? Sure, but everyone gets that.

Physical violence was mostly between the bullies/"bad kids".

Agreed the violence of the 80s was insane, especially in NYC. I was 10 the first time I was threatened with a gun, 12 the first time someone broke my bone in a beating (still visible 30 years later), 15 the second time I was beaten with a base-ball bat (20 years of chronic pain), 16 when I beaten by a group/gang. This doesn't even account the violence I saw perpetrated on others and things I forgotten. Violence was conspicuous and passerby's wouldn't even think of getting involved.

While I was nerdy, these things happened more because of differences of ethnicity than anything else.

When I left NYC I met someone who claimed that he had "never been punched" and I thought that was the craziest statement I had ever heard.

I am near two high schools in downtown Oakland and I have seen only 1 fight in the past 2 years. I think that today's kids are much less prone to violence even in the rougher neighborhoods and adults are much more likely to intervene.

Yeah, I can believe things are different since the 80's. Nerds seem to be much higher on the social totem pole now IMO. Also can I now say that I feel the the old guy going 'WELLLLL, back in MY day..." :-/

I can only speak for my own experience, but I was one of the "nerdiest" students in a school of ~2500 and never once felt physically threatened or faced physical bullying of any sort. And having gone to a top tier exclusively engineering school with a student body of people like me afterwards, I never once heard of someone having to deal with it either. I got picked on and bullied plenty, but never anything even resembling a physical threat.

We should probably define our terms. I never felt physically threatened (in the sense that I feared getting actually beat up and bloodied or seriously injured), but I was tossed around and shoved into things (physical acts of violence, even if relatively minor). Was your bullying non-physical or just, similar to mine, never escalating to the level of injury past bruised body and ego?

People draw the line at different points. Some might consider the shoving that happened frequently to me one year something far worse than what I considered it to be (frustrating and annoying, but not causing me any anxiety for fear that it'd happen again, I knew it'd happen again, but I didn't have panic attacks about it).

At no point was I concerned that someone would lay hands on me to any degree. It just wasn't something that students did to each other, unless they were the "fuck ups" and were fighting with each other.

So it's a lot more common in the US than in Europe then? Because over here, you weren't usually bullied for being a nerd. Indeed, some of the smartest people in the class/year were also often some of the most popular, at least in the UK.

>> Indeed, some of the smartest people in the class/year were also often some of the most popular, at least in the UK.

Same in India as well.

How physical violence is possible in US schools? - As I know US has very strict laws against physical violence - Students in US schools can be suspended not only for actual violence, but also for thread of violence and even for gesture: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Montgomery-Co-Studen...

Yep, physical violence is so frowned upon, that both people are typically suspended/disciplined, and at least at my high school were typically sent to "in school suspension" which was basically a tiny room separate from the school where you had to sit. You can imagine how well it tended to work when you took two people that got into a fight had to sit in a tiny room with each other.

Also, no, it didn't matter who started the fight. If you were involved then you were equal and disciplined the same. It's ridiculously backwards

Well, there's the law, and then there's what actually happens. At the very least, you need evidence in the hands of authorities and willingness (of a number of people) to "prosecute", so to speak, before action is taken. I'm guessing both of those are rare.

Bullying is most effectively done by socially talented sociopaths in many situations. Those at the top of the social hierarchy cajole those they need to, but demonstrate dominance and power over the weak. This should not be surprising.

The teachers naturally will "like" the talented social sociopath, so they forgive and don't punish their transgressions against the weak.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com