My actual argument is that TDD is a practice that is hard to learn alone. Every anecdote I read about someone trying and rejecting TDD is an individual trying it by themselves.In itself this is a fair point, but I think this kind of argument only stands up for so long. The same could be said of previously relatively obscure programming styles like functional programming, but they have slowly worked their way into the mainstream as more people have learned them. The same could be said of the modern emphasis on DevOps, but again knowledge and tooling for that have evolved rapidly and gained widespread acceptance in an industry where they were mostly alien just a few years ago.
Consider for contrast Fagan-style code inspections. These too boast studies with ~90% bug yields. I don't see many people doing them.
Fagan-style is too heavyweight to be practical in most software development organisations, and rightly meets resistance as such. However, this is an area where I have considerable personal experience, and I can tell you there are a lot of places that have successfully implemented lighter weight code reviews and/or broader technical reviews of project assets, with very favourable results. Even major Open Source projects typically have some level of mandatory review and often super-review today before new code is allowed into the master branch. Almost every project that is serious about software quality has at least some form of code review process today.
Or formal methods. Again, claims of remarkable bug prevention outcomes on very challenging projects, for long spans of time. Yet it hasn't swept the industry.
Formal methods are too expensive for most projects with today's techniques. They have their place, and they can achieve excellent results in the right context. I'm bullish about the future of this field, not because I expect it to take over completely any time soon, but because I expect that some of its ideas will drift into the mainstream and become common practice as they become incorporated into our languages and tools, just as today strong, static type systems can eliminate entire classes of programmer error that are possible in more dynamic environments. However, for now the cost of heavyweight formal methods is so high that you really are into the territory where alternative engineering solutions involving completely redundant systems and the like can actually be more cost-effective.
I was struck by your point that people only ever cite the one paper. So I began looking for reviews.
I've only read one of those (the Munir one) but I'm afraid you might be disappointed. For example, of the 41 primary (mostly) sources they considered, just 9 were in their high rigour and high relevance quadrant. Of those, they report that 7 did conclude that the external quality of the TDD-based development was significantly better (one of the 7 being the Nagappan paper).
However, when you look at the primary sources, you find that like Nagappan, often what they were looking at wasn't really TDD either. For example, one was actually about moving away from TDD at a class/method level and more towards testing at a higher level with components, and it was the latter that gave the better results.
I might also challenge the classification of some of those papers as being rigorous and relevant. For example, one of the key metrics used in the Slyngstad case study is defects per SLOC, which in itself is questionable. The case study compared several releases of the same project, between which the number of SLOC varied widely (notably changing quite dramatically at the same release the TDD was introduced) but in all cases was quite small by professional development standards (only a few thousand lines). And then the paper does some extremely dubious arithmetic to reach its headline statistic of TDD reducing the mean defect density by around 35%, glossing over things like a sharp rise in the defect density in the release when TDD was introduced and the fact that the average for the test-last releases was completely dominated by a much worse score for the very first release.
In at least one case, the Siniaalto paper, the survey appears to have almost completely reversed the position of the original paper, perhaps as a result of scanning for key words and phrases a little too loosely and failing to notice that the paper was actually challenging disputing some of those claims rather than supporting them.
Overall, it's still much the same story here: some of the generalisations being presented in the summaries aren't necessarily supported by the primary data when you look at the details. There are lots of examples of the understandable but still real distortions that these kinds of surveys always seem to show up.
So while I appreciate the interesting discussion, I'm afraid we might still have to agree to disagree on this one. I'm not saying TDD doesn't or can't work for the right team in the right context, but the idea that it is innately superior to other development methods in general and the evidence typically cited to support such a claim just don't stand up to scrutiny.