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Comment by jasonkolb | Hacker News Reader

My kids go to a Montessori school as well. My wife and I were sold on the approach within the first five minutes we were in the classroom during the tour. These were not wild kids being controlled by adults, these were small adults being taught how to function in the world. They came up and shook my hand and introduced themselves, took out and put away their own work, asked for help, and were very polite when they needed a teacher's help. Once we started looking into how the materials were structured and built from basic concepts on up, we were hooked.

It's incredibly expensive but also well worth the sacrifice.

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"These were not wild kids being controlled by adults"

"It's incredibly expensive"

It is possible that the second obeservation has somthing to do with the first... and perhaps more than the Montessori method itself does.

Having money does not make a good parent.

Also, where we are Montessori was no more expensive than a Catholic private school. But to my eyes, the Catholic school just looked like public school, but obviously more upscale (and also teachers have more freedom, small classrooms).

But I was attracted to to Montessori because of the methods. For example, if a child is focused on an activity, the teacher will not interrupt them just because 'geography hour is over' or some arbitrary boundary. Letting the kids develop focus and concentration at an early age was a big selling point for me.

Not having money does make it hard to be a good parent: having time to spend with your kids instead of working a few minimum-wage, non-school-hours, part time jobs, encouraging them to explore and learn about things they find interesting and funding this exploration as necessary, providing safe places to be and healthy lifestyles are all hard to do when you're poor.

Clearly, having money doesn't make you a good parent. And you don't have to have money to be a good parent. But it does undeniably have an impact on the statistics.

Agreed, but also I think expectation, confidence, ambition are as important as opportunity. We have some relatives, from the outside they look like a totally normal middle class loving family. But we saw time and again the parents talk like, daughter is the smart one, son is the not-so-smart one. Telling him his teachers are idiots etc. They just set that kid up for failure and it was difficult to watch.

"Having money does not make a good parent"

I couldn't agree more. In fact, I grew up in an extremely poor family, and my mother is an excellent mother!

But I also know how difficult it can be for a poor, single parent.

My point was that those who would choose to pay for their children to attend a Montessori school are a self selecting group, and I am not confident that if you took an average public school and turned it into a Montessori school that it would work as well as your private school. (It might very well work better than an average public school, though.)

I'd suggest that while having more money allows an already good parent to give more opportunities to their child, a good parent that doesn't have money is not then a bad parent, but instead a good parent with a limited ability to give their child more opportunity.

Yeah I think I need to see a study controlled for income before I'm convinced.

This is exactly why we started our son in Montessori. The difference in the way he handles himself (as a 4 year old) vs. kids who have not been in Montessori is usually a drastic difference.

> It's incredibly expensive

I suppose this depends on where you live. We're perfectly happy with what we spend in the Dallas area and would gladly spend more. However, the 18 months we lived in the Seattle area, Montessori was unfortunately not an option. On the low-end, it was 2.5x as much. To have similar quality facilities, it was easily 5x as much.

Where I live, Montessori ends at Kindergarten, unfortunately. I have three kids in Montessori pre-K right now, and it costs more than the mortgage on my house. But as other commenters have said, it's worth every penny. Kids are calm, happy, and engaged. They love school and learning. I'm not looking forward to public primary school, which is our only realistic option.

Yes, this is true in a number of areas. Even other Montessori schools in our area usually stop at Kindergarten. We're extremely lucky the one our son goes to runs one or two classrooms (based on demand) up through 5th grade.

There are some very good private schools available after that, but those are 2x-3x the annual cost we currently pay. Luckily, we have a few years until we have to make any decisions.

That said, I agree with you: It's worth every penny. I would work nights at a fast food joint, scrubbing the bathroom floors with my own toothbrush to keep my son there. He loves it more than we do.

My first parent-teacher conference at Montessori began "Joseph is the ringleader". They were joking, but not entirely. He would wear his cape to school (Batman? Not sure). They had him hang it up in the cloakroom. But a couple of times a day, he'd go into the cloakroom, put on the cape, and run around the classroom "flying" until he had the whole class running after him. Took about 10 minutes to regain control each time.

So, no more wearing the cape to school!

> these were small adults being taught how to function in the world

That's so true. They taught us how to be functioning individuals who could take care of ourselves.

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