If you're really serious about growing your net worth, then stick with the old hardware and move to somewhere between the Rocky Mountains and the Mississippi River. Prices are low enough to live the "American Dream" there, but it's not the cool, hip living of SF Bay, Seattle, or NYC.
If you're really serious about hearing from people between the Rockies and the Mississippi, move there and ask them.
And 5-year-old hardware is hardly inaccessible to the internet. It is orders of magnitude cheaper, though.
"Life sucks sometimes" is also a thought terminating cliche, as such you should really avoid using it -- if you're actually trying to contribute to the discussion instead of sounding like a daft moron.