All right, inmates. We have a new job opening up soon in the prison, that pays $2.00 per hour! By a show of hands, how many of you have a medical degree with experience in oncology? And any in vascular surgery? Any medical degree at all? Psychiatrists, even?
Ok, looks like just those two. Anybody else? Maybe just a B.S. in chemistry or biology?
If you lack existing qualifications, and are still interested, the state has given us a grant to provide a twelve week training course to make some of you inmates into bona fide researchers, to investigate cures for cancer and vascular disease. You cannot have any disciplinary infractions for the entire twelve weeks if you want to graduate.
If you know someone who is a doctor, please also look into our referral program, wherein if you can successfully frame or entrap a physician into committing a felony, you can receive furlough days, conjugal visits, or even sentence reduction.
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