Colma, Calif., Is a Town of 2.2 Square Miles, Most of It 6 Feet Deep (2006) | Hacker News Reader

Colma, Calif., Is a Town of 2.2 Square Miles, Most of It 6 Feet Deep (2006)

nytimes.com

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I recently took a walk around Colma. The cemetaries were in fact the least creepy part of that town. Walkways leading nowhere covered in racially charged graffiti, lack of sidewalks along the roads, and sprawling parking lots occupied the area not reserved for the dead.

I walked past some sort of workshop that made tombstones. I took a picture of some tombstones on display outside, since they looked kind of cool. Some worker there started asking me: "Are you here to buy one? Then why the hell are you taking pictures of them?!" Not the most inviting place. The graveyards were nice though.

> lack of sidewalks along the roads, and sprawling parking lots occupied the area not reserved for the dead.

Sounds like every suburban small town.

It seems like suburbs mean different things in different places. Most all of our roads, especially the main ones, have sidewalks.

> I walked past some sort of workshop that made tombstones. I took a picture of some tombstones on display outside, since they looked kind of cool. Some worker there started asking me: "Are you here to buy one? Then why the hell are you taking pictures of them?!"

I mean, I can see where they are coming from, that's kinda disrespectful to the dead. I wouldn't want you to take pictures of my recently passed away father's headstone just so you could put a cool filter on it, load it up with edgy hashtags and get likes on your instagram. :(

I think they were display headstones, outside the workshop that makes them.

... maybe. Maybe they were pre-orders waiting for customers to come pick them up. Who knows. Either way, still kinda tacky and in poor taste, imo. Grief shouldn't be a sideshow for kitchy photo-ops.

Maybe they were tombstones for dead teenagers who would have appreciated you taking a selfie with their tombstone, putting a cool filter on it, loading it up with edgy hashtags and getting likes on your instagram. Each generation has its own way that they want to be remembered. YOLO!

There were no names on those tombstones yet. That said I specifically went and took pictures of some "in-use" tombstones as well. Those were more interesting, some display a perspective of family history you don't normally see -- a perspective that focuses on the dead.

Keep in mind that tombstones are publically displayed. It's not like I broke into a mausoleum or something.

Colma is a lovely necropolis. I went there once to visit the grave of Emperor Norton I, one of my personal heroes. I'm still disappointed they didn't name the Bay Bridge after him.

Colma is home to a simply amazing bar. Go there if you are ever in town. It's awesome and everyone is so friendly.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/molloys-tavern-south-san-francisco

Said bar was mentioned in the article, even.

well, that's just uncanny :)

I once lived there for a few months. The first day I arrived, I opened by window and looked at the view and thought "Wow this place has a beautiful view, no buildings, all nature... wait... what are all those things on the ground?"

Colma was the inspiration for Buckethead's best album:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKQypgRJ9vU

^ excellent focus music!

damn dude. i did not put two-n-two together. That is a really good album! :D

You're 800% more likely to get robbed in Colma than in the average US city (based on per capita crime stats).

I always found that as the fun fact nobody mentions about Colma. It's usually just graveyard talk.

per capita vivae?

Are you sure?

http://www.city-data.com/crime/crime-Colma-California.html

It's a really quiet and boring place where you go to Home Depot and Target. It looks like theft is more likely than robbery. I don't live in Colma, but I know SF and Oakland are much worse.

I would guess the high crime statistic is just a quirk of the fact that Colma has very few residents, but many more people visit from neighboring communities for shopping.

Yep, you're right. It's theft that's at 800% the national average.

Skylawn [1], a few miles south, is about the same size as the biggest cemetery in Colma, and it's still expanding. The scale of the place isn't visible from the highway. It's on Lifemark Road (Their slogan: "Every life leaves its mark") off of CA 92 at the summit near CA 35. Their section with sample gravestone sculptures is worth a visit. Some of them are humorous.

[1] https://goo.gl/maps/T971V3ChLL62

Cremation for me, thanks.

I think as the world very very slowly loses its religion, this kind of waste will finally come to an end in a few centuries.

Then there is the Tibetan "sky burial" which is amazing.

Cremation apparently requires much more energy than burial and has a large carbon footprint. Perhaps it's simply another kind of waste.

FWIW, the NYT did a new story about Colma a few weeks ago, with the Super Bowl happening nearby:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/06/sports/football/the-town-o...

>“We have 1,500 aboveground residents,” Mayor Helen Fisicaro said

>Today the little city has many thriving businesses, including car dealerships, two Home Depots, shopping centers and a game room.

Two Home Depots for 1,500 residents? People don't generally build the coffin at the burial.

Something tells me there is a lot more supporting that town than just their cemeteries.

There isn't anything separating Colma from the cities around it, and the area is fairly densely suburban.

There's two Targets I believe too.

It's insane. You literally leave one Target parking lot, drive under the freeway and turn into another Target parking lot. I would have decision paralysis even picking one.

The one at Serramonte Shopping Center is almost always busy/crowded. Parking can be absolutely awful. That's since it's a mall. When the "Colma" Target didn't have a pharmacy, that was the one advantage that the Serramonte one had over it.

Nowadays it's almost always better to go to the Colma one if possible to avoid the crowd.

I think someone told me a while back that the one at Serramonte is one of the best-selling Target locations in the country, which I can definitely believe.

Technically one is in Daly City and the other is in Colma. But yeah, they're both within about 2 blocks of each other (opposite sides of the freeway).

It's a lovely place. I've got several family members buried there, and the graves are well looked after.

As a non-American it reminds me of how everything in America is bigger. Haven't looked at the numbers, but it's probably bigger than even the WWI memorials in northern France.

I'm surprised no one's mentioned this novel: Alive in Necropolis, by Doug Dorst: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2439336.Alive_in_Necropo...

Colma a also features a passable par 3 golf course (as of 2005 anyway). A good option if the municipal is too full of a weekend. Out of bounds in many areas is guarded by the deceased.

Prime real estate that could otherwise help lower housing costs.

There's more people underground in Colma than there are above it.

At least the mayor is quoted in the article as saying so:

  “We have 1,500 aboveground residents,” Mayor Helen Fisicaro
  said, “and 1.5 million underground.”

Not a good place to be during the zombie apocalypse.

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