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Comment by alias240 | Hacker News Reader

My strategy when I meet a girl I like is to exchange numbers, but have no intention of contacting them. The girl always has to contact the guy first. It's just how it works.

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Trust me, this is not true. Initiating contact is not only acceptable, but quite often preferred. Generally this approach is just protecting your self-esteem.

No, it's a sign of respect. In these days of Tinder, girls are used to guys hitting on them all the time. By not contacting them, you are actually sending a message.

Speaking as a woman, the message I would get from this is, "I'm not that interested."

It's quite possible to communicate romantic interest in a way that wouldn't make the other person uncomfortable or suggest disrespect.

This is not great advice because girls aren't as proactive and they have plenty of old and new guys to distract them.

I see it like those grammar errors in scam emails - making people self-select themselves for qualities you want.

Even at crazy low success rate, it's still only a matter of time.

There are guys I meet that I think could become my best friend or a great future co-founder. But I never call or text them, because I get busy with work and life.

>The girl always has to contact the guy first. It's just how it works

That seems a bit childish.

That's because it is. Most people grow out of this sort of thing, eventually.

Not only that, it seems like an ineffective strategy. I can't imagine you'd get more than a 10% response rate from this - and that's if you are exceedingly attractive. If you are just an average joe, this strategy basically does not work. If I had enough things going on in my life though I'd also always wait for the woman to contact me first because I've been used and manipulated too many times and don't see most women as worth the effort.

I'd make a wager that the original commenter we're referring to is from the UK.

Men initiating interest with women isn't a universal cultural standard and that's one of the places where women asking men out is much more common.

I am from the UK.

Nailed it. :D

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