Ask HN: What are the best ways to quickly build relationship with new coworkers? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What are the best ways to quickly build relationship with new coworkers?

4 pointsya_throwaway4 comments

Hi HN,

I'll join an awesome small company later next week. I'm really impressed by the developers at that company, they are fun, outgoing and really smart. I can't wait to get to know them and learn from them.

My problem is that I usually have difficulties building relationships when I'm in a new environment. I need a lot of time to make 1 or 2 friends.

I really like this company and I don't want to screw up this opportunity. How can I quickly build a friendly relationship with my coworkers in a relatively short amount of time (2-3 weeks)?

I don't know if this is relevant but I'm just recovering for a very long period of social anxiety.

Thanks.

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I don't mean to give you a smart ass answer but there is no such thing as "quickly build relationships". Relationships take time to build and cannot be done too quickly. However, you can start off with a good impression by being open, honest and most importantly a good listener to your co-workers. Show genuine interest in them but don't over do it. Talk to them about non-work related stuff if they seem interested. Respect their space/privacy but go hang out with them once in a while. Appreciate their work no matter how mimimal it may be. Rinse.Repeat.

First off, relax. You want to be there, they want you to be there. You're already "in". Working relationships will begin to develop naturally in the first couple of months as you get comfortable with them and they get comfortable with you. You accelerate this process by asking questions when you don't know or understand something and get comfortable giving your opinion on things.

Friendships, depending on what you're going for, will naturally evolve with time. Go out to after work social activities (or organize a happy hour every so often), some of the same meet ups, and start building shared experiences with your coworkers. Over time, this will morph into deeper relationships.

Congrats on the new gig! Relax, have fun, and learn a ton!

There is this game I like called pass/passback, I play it when I am teaching and helping out in young-age classrooms and environments. It's really good. You can buy your co-workers a coffee or a nice little snack -- hershey's kisses are great. Consider that the "pass" and don't expect any "pass backs" -- just pass some people some nice stuff, even some kind words that you spend some time conjuring, and your relationships can thrive. It's a simple technique, easy enough to implement, and the results are amazing because people actually love passing back. It's in our nature to honor one another -- just uncover it little by little and know that you're doing it right.

> How can I quickly build a friendly relationship with my coworkers in a relatively short amount of time (2-3 weeks)?

Look for points of connection, express an interest in your new colleagues one-on-one.

What kind of things are important to them? What do they care about? What do they like to do in their free-time? How can you help them personally/professionally?

On this subject, Larry Benet has great advice > http://www.superfastbusiness.com/business/larry-benet-shares...

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