I don't quite get why nobody simply creates function bindings that have a query template string on one side, that is represented as a function that creates a parameterized query under the covers, and a solid type that represents a record that is returned? I mean instead of jumping through all the binding chains.. just have a string and type... call the generated function based on the string, return an array/stream/whatever of <type>

I'd rather use template string generated promises in node, tbh, than any ORM.