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Comment by LoSboccacc | Hacker News Reader

Lived in a place where montessori was basically the only way of schooling and parenting was extremely hands off. Turns out children like structure and without one they ends up forming gangs at an alarming rate. Most grow out of it, but the pack mentality remains fostering xenophobia, while some other never get out of it and it's a huge social problem.

Won't name and shame so don't ask. I think some freedom to experiment is good, as long as one also gets plenty positive role models and strong sense of what's wrong.

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I wondered about the "average of fewer than one rule" cited in the article. Some parents have zero rules? I consider myself a pretty liberal parent and we definitely have more than one rule. e.g., Don't be mean, brush your teeth, be careful crossing the street, take your shoes off inside the house. Even if you generalize those to "be good to others and to yourself," that's still a rule!

I wonder if "don't smash that block into the TV" counts as a rule? Or "don't eat that knife"? Or "don't play in traffic?" Or any other common sense thing that helps keep a young child alive for more than 24 hours?

This article is silly and evokes an extreme to try to make a point.

I think it depends on what you mean by "rule." I would say that we don't have any hard and fast rules that our daughter must obey simply because we say so. That doesn't mean we let her do anything particularly dangerous, but we try to explain why we say, "no," rather than just saying, "because I said so."

Exactly - that's been our approach too, at least once she reached ~3. "Brush your teeth because otherwise you get cavities." I'd still call that a rule but the article was vague.

If you have children on the Autism Spectrum, structure and expectations and continuous nurturing will help them hugely.

Gangs aren't such a bad thing. I would say that I belonged to one, and I turned out all right.

Gangs provide a lot of opportunity for creativity, problem solving, strategy and tactics, self management, financial management, and leadership. And, the smart kids usually choose the best gang, in my experience.

The hardest part is transitioning from the gang life to something that's more upper-middle-class acceptable. In my experience, gaining access to education, capital, and social networks is hugely important. And, crossing the cultural gap has been something that I still struggle with 25 years later.

I'm pretty sure there are better ways to learn "creativity, problem solving, strategy and tactics, self management, financial management, and leadership" than one which can get you killed or thrown in jail for the rest of your life.

Interesting point. In Ireland almost every creche brands itself as Montessori but it's quite different (as in more relaxed) than what you'd see in California. Though what you're describing does not sound like Ireland.

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