Instead, I usually install the "Pseudo VT320" keyboard layout from here: http://keyboards.jargon-file.org/ , which makes the AltGr key act like the Compose key on a Unix keyboard.
The Mac keyboard is also bearable.
After learning touch type on German (QWERTZ) and then on French keyboard (AZERTY) - I finally found a solution by switching to the US International with AltGr Dead Keys (Combinator key) - which is easy on Linux. However on Windows I felt exactly the same pain as you - luckily I have to work only rarely on Windows. Until now I used for Windows [1].
However I do not understand how Microsoft missed to ship such Keyboard layout with Windows.
Now I can write French, German and Turkish on the same keyboard. And when I have to work abroad, even in Russia, the US International layout is everywhere (most of the times reachable just with Alt-Shift on Windows).
Quote keys are still in the home row, it is just a matter of muscle memory to get used to "right pinky at home row, thumb at space bar" to get quotes going.
But I am an emacs user, so maybe I just got used to the composability.
Yeah, and also I guess I shouldn't joke with that. Sorry.