I've found once I hit about 40 I started calling everything new 'Hipster'. Something new in bedding? Well that's totally 'Hipster Mattress'. New song from Skrillex? 'Hipster Noise'. Those beards that all the kids have now? 'Hipster Beards'. Node.js? 'Hispter Twaddle' Ghost? 'Hipster Blogging Platform'. Uber? 'Hipster Taxi'

If you're lucky to live long enough it'll happen to you too :-)

I'm picturing a piece of plywood—but made of Walnut, or Teak, or something equally delightful.

I feel like the first third or fourth of this article was just completely missing or something. So much of the context and intention of the article was just never explained or introduced at all. In particular, it starts talking about Casper as if the reader is sure to know who or what that is, but I had to Google it. I still don't know why the article chose to fixate on Casper in particular.

It certainly wasn't -- he could have included a couple of pictures and some some key words to Google, even some examples of brands quite easily. It really takes from the article because I feel frustrate having read it hoping it would be explained to me or would be revealed.