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Comment by dasmoth | Hacker News Reader

This resonates. Especially since having a kid, the tension between solitary and family activities at the weekend has been a real struggle.

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If I ever get married I'll put an alone day clause in the contract. I love you but I need to get away from everyone. It can be hard to say without seeming like you're saying "you're annoying me" but there's just something different about being alone. At least if I have a meditation bench, there's that.

The problem is that if you have kids, it's going to be almost impossible for both of you to get an alone day and still have time to do things together.

Yep, that's probably a big reason people just aren't having many or any kids these days.

Back in the "old days", people lived with multiple generations under one roof and with their extended families. So raising kids was easier because you had a lot of help: grandparents, uncles/aunts, etc. Then the "nuclear family" came along in the 50s and things started falling apart. It was OK for a while because women were relegated to near-slavery, but then things changed and we had two working parents, and then there wasn't enough time to parent properly.

Just getting married makes it hard. I think it depends on what your partner is like though - mine doesnt seem to need it so I get very little now

I fully agree and the more kids you have, the less time you have for yourself.

The first option that came was to reduce sleep to gain free time, definitely not a good idea on the long run.

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