No, we wouldn't have a job without the customers, but then again, the customers wouldn't have anything without us.

This isn't supposed to be a parasitic relationship, it's supposed to be a symbiotic one. We have something the customers want, they have something we want. We need to reach a mutually beneficial agreement to trade for these things. Each side wields equal power, it's time both sides understood that.

http://railsconf.blip.tv/file/2081411/

It starts roughly around minute 46.

His point was in relationship with stakeholders. Most people, when making up requirements, think about the Absolute Best Thing They Could Imagine. However, in reality, they'd be equally as satisfied by something that's much less fully featured, but also much faster to complete. In addition, simplicity also tends to have performance implications.

He uses a permission system as an example. He worked for two weeks on a Best Permissions Ever, and then said "let's go back to the drawing board." They managed to find a 90% solution that he could code in a day and a half, was much more performant, and they found out that that last 10% didn't even really matter.