The secret to networking - be yourself online/in person | Hacker News Reader

The secret to networking - be yourself online/in person

blog.monicaobrien.com

14 pointswallflower11 comments

"Just be yourself" This is pretty similar to what i remember reading as a teenager when looking for advice on the opposite sex. Though no one ever really told me, how to be me.

There are lots of me's, the one that stays up late watching south park, and the one that enjoys a fine glass of wine. Many of my friends took this phrase as a ticket to be slovenly, thinking that they would attract others by "being themselves". While the advice is sound, it shouldn't be taken as an absolute law.

It's a call to integrity. Don't make up new personas for different social situations. You should be the same "you" in every situation.

Here's an excerpt from Robert Solomon's Existentialism (1974) book. He was one of my Philosophy professors at UT-Austin before he passed away:

"What does one do? 'Be yourself!' An empty script; myself sounds like a mere word that points at 'me' along with the camera. One wants to 'let things happen,' but in self-conscious reflection nothing ever 'just happens.' One seizes a plan (one chooses a self)"

Kinda like Little League parents yelling to their kid, "Be a hitter, Johnny!" Huh?

So I'm reading the article and kinda getting into it when.. BAM! This message pops up hiding what I was reading.

"Build your business profile by implementing one five-minute tip, every weekday. Enter your name and email address:

Name: Email: Just enter your name and email above and you'll get one implementable tip in your inbox every weekday. And you'll also get... wait. That's it. You only get exactly what you signed up for. Enter your name and email above now!"

No thank you spam

The article is pretty trite, but one gem that's worth repeating, is that if you want to be popular, then be "raw". Make yourself vulnerable. Share unpopular opinions.

It's the Eddie Murphy school of networking.

To paraphrase Bill Cosby:

I said to a guy, I said, "Tell me, what is it about being yourself that makes it so wonderful?", and he said, "Well, it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

"So just be yourself already. It’s that simple."

It actually applies to everything in general. It's that simple.

and it's not actually all that simple

The title is trite - and fairly useless - advice. But the article actually contains some much more useful tips.

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