I agree with your second point, real concentration doesn't require lot of force to sustain, actually it requires much less force than regular mind wandering.

In regard to you first question, he's right - if you're interested look up topic of "Five Mental Hindrances" - when you reach really deep state of concentration (called Jhana) you drop all of these. Which means that if you still feel any strong emotions, you still have some work to do as the mind is not stable.

Stability and calmness of the mind are very important factors of right concentration, however it's not immediately obvious, as the english word 'concentration' has lot of these forceful connotations. That's why there's lot of people criticizing translation Pali term Samadhi as Concentration and suggest using 'unification', 'centeredness' etc instead.