While it is a real enough problem it has some remarkable upsides as well. You have to live with the downsides even though you can make them less visble and annoying, but also be aware of your superskills and put them to use for yourself so that you can have more to give back to your family, your friend and the world.
No widen your horizon and find reasons both for why to improve (for yourself, your family, community, everyone) as well as how (applying skills at current job or plan to get a new where you can use them.) Me for example I'm good at talking to people and when I get into a new setting/position and see no one wants "that" customer I tell them I can do it. Bam, instantly +1 in an honest way that benefits everyone.
I feel I am verging towards that end of the sectrum (I assume its a spectrum). I never though if it as a disability, just stuff I am good at / bad at.
If that is the case why does it have such a negative stigma attached and is treated as a problem (like I say I am verging that way, but I don't see myself as ADHD, so maybe my perspective on it is off). Many people proudly proclaim they are "not good at maths" but they are good at other things, why is this seen as such a negative that we put people on medication for it?
There are different subtypes (not sure if they are in the DSM but they are often referred to in other literature), e.g. hyperactive vs non-hyperactive. Sometimes, though, the hyperactivity exhibits itself in ways that are non-obvious.
I think the negative stigma comes from what many (myself, included) believe to be an over-diagnosis in young children. It seems to be used as a catch-all for children who are difficult to handle, who aren't good at sitting still in class, etc. This over-diagnosis causes a lot of people to think the disorder isn't real.
Secondly, a lot of people will try to fake their way into an ADHD diagnosis (especially at the college-level) to gain access to the amphetamines. This makes it difficult for those with the actual disorder, as we are scrutinized heavily and often made to feel somewhat criminal when we pick up our prescriptions at pharmacies that have had issues with this in the past. I won't say it's overly common, but it does happen. I've been told they were out of stock before because I tried dropping off a prescription at 3am once. I had it in my wallet and had meant to drop it off on my way out with friends. On my way home, the subway stop I get off at (I live in NYC) is where my 24/7 pharmacy is. I didn't think anything of it, I'm just dropping it off to save myself a trip in the morning.. well, the pharmacist looked at me.. 3am, clearly had a few drinks.. and he gave me the "we're out of stock" line. Magically it was re-stocked at 7am.
And lastly, there is a stigma in the US, in general, when it comes to mental illness. These aren't things people can see, for one. And, perhaps more importantly, our mental selves are what we view as our actual selves, so people can have a hard time admitting to themselves that they have something about their mind that is considered abnormal. Other people have a hard time accepting it because they simply can't relate - how do you explain to someone what it's like to be ADHD?
You might tell them that you forget things a lot, feel impulsive, etc. and they simply say "Yeah, everyone is like that though, you just need some discipline and will power dude." What they fail to recognize is that, yes, everyone does feel that way sometimes. Just like everyone feels anxious sometimes. What makes it a disorder is the frequency, intensity, and duration of the feeling(s). Many people just can't accept this, especially in the US it appears. Our attitude is "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" or "be a man" or "put yourself together - no one's gonna do it for you. I certainly didn't need medication!" and there's a lack of empathy because they simply can't understand.
Now, I take Methylphenidate (long release Ritalin), and think it's wonderful -- it allows me to focus on tasks that need to get done, and has allowed to become more professional.
My biggest advice, as others mentioned, is play to your strengths. I've been incredibly lucky to find positions where I can design and prototype but don't have the trudgery that gives me trouble.
Find a team that will let you work on new problems regularly is very important. I grew very tired of working on the same tiny feature for a year, but it took me some time to realize.
A startup will have you facing different problems every week, but with fewer engineers, you'll need to do more maintenance, and it's even more important to temper the thirst for new tech stacks, because new features are more important.
tl;dr - meds until find ones that work and/or find a team that lets you work on new projects, something like R&D or custom integrations.
Best of luck, but I see ADHD as tradeoffs -- less focus on boring tasks for hyperfocus on interesting tasks.