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Ask HN: Starting Over

Some time ago I spent a few years at a young, fast growing company. The technology was exciting, the developers where the best I've seen, and technical leadership was great. And myself, I expended considerable effort becoming an expert on the code and domain. All was not roses though, there was the usual lack of product direction and product management, and I eventually moved on. Since then I've found myself hopping from job to job, always disappointed, always comparing the new to the old, and always disappointed. The developers aren't motivate, or the culture is a bit toxic, there's often no appetite to adopt new technology, etc...

Lately it's occurred to me that I may never experience that type of work environment again, and this makes me sad. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you cope?

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This is one of the biggest problems for careers in general, which is a lack of clear pathways for advancement.

It is particularly bad in software fields because the field came into existence in a time when unions and similar kinds of thing have been in decline, and also due to the nature of the work.

Two answers to this are: (i) choose better jobs (ii) try to solve these problems yourself in your local environment as best you can. Putting these together you get (iii) move into management, (iv) start your own firm, etc.

To solve this problem on a general level there has to be some elevation of the standards of software management and that is a good calling to be a manager today. I've seen people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s make stupid mistakes in management of and communication with people that I made when I was 22 and was fortunate to be corrected by the department head of my graduate school so that I learned not to do it again!

http://www.theuniversityfaculty.cornell.edu/memorials/fitche...

There is definitely a conflict that arises out of how when you work for firm X you get a huge amount of specialization insofar as (i) the specific code base you use, (ii) the domain, the people, the procedures, all that, (iii) the tools, be it ColdFusion or Haskell or Gnu automake or Visual Studio or whatever

I, too, worry that I may have worked at the best place in my career as I was getting started. I'm a mechanical engineer, and got to work at my dream job as a semester-long internship right before I graduated. The product and culture were both amazing, and I loved the work and the empowerment I felt--even as an intern. Despite getting great reviews from my manager and the team I worked with, the timing did not lead to a full-time offer. Business wasn't great and the company was down-sizing, and my group was being hit especially hard. It was also a small team to begin with, so there wasn't really any place for me to fit in.

I've since taken my first full time job, and I've missed my old role a lot. It's not that I don't have a good job--I certainly do. My coworkers who have worked here for most of their careers love it, and don't see themselves leaving. But I've seen how things can be better--I've seen great jobs. I've interviewed at a several places, but I'm not taking any role at a job opportunity unless I think it will be great. One day I plan on starting a company and making it an amazing place to work.

However, in addition to telling you to keep looking because great jobs are out there, I think you need to look at how you can make your current role better. Try to see what can improve the culture, nudge things in the right direction. It might not be big and it might take some time, but you can certainly make progress. And when you leave, your office will be better for it.

You need to find your passion and a job that fits it decently.

My dad was career military and my ex husband was career military. When I was a military wife and full time mom, I was doing things that mattered. Military spouses are part of the system. Spouse support groups are integral to the military mission. "Loose lips sink ships" and all that.

I got divorced and I got a corporate job. A lot of folks working there were incredibly jazzed to br there. That job was the biggest thing that ever happened to them and their identity ad an employee of BigCo loomed large in their eyes.

Not so for me. Lives and national security did nothang in the balance. It was just a paycheck to me.

I now do freelance work so I can keep myself healthy and free. I am more jazzed about figuring out how to do this well and make more money at it than I ever was about my corporate job. Figuring this out makes a real difference in my life.

You need to find your Mission in life and pursue that. If uour job serves your misdion, great! If your job is just a paycheck but it frees you to pursue your mission in your free time, almost as good.

This is not going to come from stumbling across the right company. It is about what makes you feel most alive -- and that varies from person to person.

I think that you understand the problem is with you. You are looking at that experience through a lens that distorts the reality of the situation. You left that job for a reason!

If you are constantly searching for that perfect combination, you are not going to find it. You are chasing the dragon. And even if you find it, it will eventually change and become unpalatable to you.

The answer is within you. You can change the environment you are in. Expend considerable energy doing so. In the end, you might find you were right back in that happy place you were looking for.

> How did you cope?

You must keep searching.

That exciting, fast-growing company on the cutting-edge IS out there. It will be different of course, but you'll recognize the elements.

You'll find it by refreshing contact old colleagues, talk to them live. Go to meet-ups and VC conferences, meet people. Share your scorecard. Ask who they know that's doing cool, interesting work.

Then really probe for fit-- culture/team dynamics, technology. The more conversations like these, the better your odds.

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