Ask HN: Should I tell that I had cancer to my interviewer?

I'm in a similar situation. Diagnosed with colon cancer at 34 with a 3 year at home and my wife still pregnant with our second one. I ended up switching jobs after my surgery and know that things could flare up again. I didn't bring it up during my interviews since it wasn't something I felt I needed to mention. The focus of the interview is your skills and how well you'd fit in with the team. As someone already said, things happen to employees whether they've been at the job for 10 years or 10 months. Employers know that.

In the US, there's no reason to disclose your health status to an employer.

Good luck.

Yes and women do not have to disclose that they are expecting either.

> but I'm not quite sure what to say about our reasons for moving...

Simple, we're living our dream and think the countryside is an ideal setting to raise our family.

Reasons for personal health disclosure can vary. That Key Man detail could be important to a business partner. A recruiting bozo or corporate manager not so much. Move forward assuming as if you'd been given a clean bill of health.

Incidentally, your current bosses have allowed you to work remote temporarily. If you've demonstrated you can still contribute value to the team, perhaps they'd be amenable continuing the arrangement. Say, why not go another 6 months and jointly evaluate if this is working? It's worth exploring, there are always exceptions. Godspeed!

I have a hearing loss. It takes a little while for people to notice, and I generally do very well in face-to-face, one-on-one interactions, so during interviews, I never bring it up. Back when I was dating, I struggled with whether to bring it up on the first date. On the one hand, it shouldn't matter. But on the other, I would find it deceptive if someone I went on a date with held back information like that (e.g., "I have a kid" or "I have cancer"). It's not necessarily a deal breaker, but I would totally understand if the other person walked away. Fortunately, I found someone, so I don't have to deal with this any more on the dating front.

But for business? It's none of their business. If I get the job, I'll bring it up with my immediate team on Day 1, but otherwise, I don't say anything. For cancer, it's really just none of their business whatsoever.

Hi Jemaclus,

I have a child with hearing loss. Mind if I ask you a question? How have you found your partners reactions on dates regarding your hearing loss?

I'm assuming you don't wear hearing aids, as per your uncertainty of whether to bring up on the first date. So when your date does find out about your hearing loss, does it generally have an observable impact on either the date or the prospect of future relationship?

And maybe a harder question to answer : do you think the wearing of hearing aids has more of an impact in prospective dates? Logically, having hearing aids to correct hearing shouldn't be viewed much differently from wearing glasses to correct vision, but curious of your experiences.

Thanks.

I actually do wear a hearing aid, but people tell me that they don't notice. I also keep my hair a bit on the long side, so it's not usually visible. it's also very small.

I haven't really run into anyone who immediately ended a date, but I suspect that I've been declined for dates because of it. I have also gone on strings of dates with women where they eventually either just fizzled out and stopped accepting new dates, or they pulled the "let's just be friends" card. I would be foolish to attribute this all to my hearing loss (I can certainly be a difficult person at times), but part of me always wonders.

To answer your second question, I think there is still a small stigma attached to it. Glasses are ubiquitous in today's society. Hearing aids, not so much. That said, the bluetooth revolution in the last five years has gone a long, long, long way toward making it more acceptable (or at least normal) to see something sticking out of someone's ear. Little kids will sometimes come up and ask me what's in my ear, but adults never do.

That said, my hearing aid is amazing. It has Bluetooth capabilities. I can listen to music without having to wear headphones. I can stream a phone call directly to my hearing aid, without the awkwardness of trying to hold a phone speaker up to my hearing aid microphone. It has volume control, "restaurant mode" for loud situations, and even "music mode" that doesn't filter out background noise at all. It's pretty fantastic, and I think over time, it will only get better.

The biggest hassle I have right now with hearing aids is battery life. I've developed a sixth sense about it, where I'll just randomly think, "Huh. When's the last time I changed the battery?" and then an hour or two later it will die. Still, sometimes I'm caught unaware. One time I was at a job interview, and it died on me. I had to excuse myself and go get a fresh pack of batteries from a Walgreens across the street. They still passed me on to the next round of interviews. (I didn't get the job, though).

If I had a few million dollars to do a hardware startup, I would try and develop a hearing aid that runs off body heat or some other mechanism. The main reason hearing aids are so big is because the case has to hold the battery -- the battery is by far the biggest component. If we could get rid of it, it could just be a band-aid like strip on the back of the ear and practically invisible.

Sorry, I digress. Going back to your earlier questions, I should be clear that the visibility of the hearing aid is probably not a problem. The actual hearing loss is probably the biggest turn off. Hearing aids aren't like glasses, where you can technically get back to 20/20 vision with minor help. You never really get back to 100% hearing with a hearing aid. There's always something off. And even my friends sometimes get tired of me saying "What?" all the time.

I hope that was helpful. Feel free to email me if you have any further questions. I'm happy to answer. I believe my email is in my profile.

Thanks a lot for the detailed response Jemaclus!

Would like to talk more. Don't see your email address in your profile, but found your webpage (but no contact info that I saw?) and tried connecting with you in LinkedIn.

y, that's not really a topic for an interview, focus on your skills and whether you are a good fit for the position.

You stated the reason for moving if that even comes up: We decided to move to the country side with my wife, to provide a less stressful environment to all of us.

You're a remote employee looking for a local position.

I would look for remote work too it can be relaxing too depending on the company.

You're currently cured/in remission . . . anything could happen to any employee at anytime . . . don't penalize yourself for being a survivor.

Good luck in all areas. Enjoy your new location.

It's an interview, not a deposition.

Revealing that level of intimate information during an interview would be a red flag to me of poor boundaries and possibly poor focus.

Bad things happen to employees. Every employer has to be prepared for that. I see no reason to say about your condition during an interview, if they don't specifically ask.

Good luck.