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Comment by tomp | Hacker News Reader

I've often been thinking how an ideal living situation for me would be a commune-like collaboration between good friends - each (or each couple) having their own space, but in the same building so it's easy to meet, share chores, etc. Something like in the series Friends.

Definitely beats commuting for 30mins to another side of the city just to meet for a 2hour dinner.

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With the exception of 'good friends' (unless you're lucky) you're just describing a houseshare.

This is what everyone does in their 20s (and probably becoming the norm for most people through their 30s too) in cities in the UK, London in particular, because rents are so high there is literally no alternative that doesn't involve spending most of your salary on rent.

Even with a houseshare, a 30 min commute is not just normal but actually, rather good! You're usually nowhere near the centre. Again, this is particularly true of London.

I'm sorry to deflate you on this one but I can tell you, having lived in houseshares for years, it is absolutely not an ideal living situation. Everyone in one wants their own place, but can't afford it without moving way out of the city, or saving nothing, or living somewhere truly awful, or some combination of the above. It's not a choice but a corner you're backed into by the market.

If you're contemplating this as something which is optional, you are lucky indeed, and I'd advise you to stick with your current, non-shared, living arrangements :-)

There's a middle ground between living in the same house (your houseshares) and living 30+ minutes away from friends. As your parent described it "like in Friends".

Obviously comes with it's own downsides - it's not so easy out side of TV to think "right, these are the 5 people I want to live near", and not neccesarily easy to find somewhere to live that gives you the space each of you want (e.g. separate appartments) while still being suitible for everyone in your group.

Personally I wouldn't want to live in a houseshare, but in the same appartment building as good friends? Sure.

From 1979 through 1987, I lived in what one called a "group house", with a population that started with four young men and ended with two. It generally worked well enough, though better with three or two than with four. There needs to be agreement on bills, chores, and standards of cleanliness (or, frankly, in our case standards of untidindess). I knew of at least four or five other households not far away, consisting of persons of about the same age and status.

Maybe a bit off-topic, but I have a relatively close example of what you are talking about.

An older friend of mine got together with his childhood friends and built a retirement home, they essentially built a small building with small, private apartments (1 bedroom, bathroom, kitchenette and small living room), common areas and so on...

Now that they are all retiring (this friend of mine retired 3 years ago), they are all going there, each couple having their small apartment but being able to socialize whenever they want. Plus, they even have a kitchen service, cleaners, etc, etc because the shared cost is way less of what they would pay to have it at home or what they'd pay in a normal retirement home.

Been thinking that I wouldn't mind doing something like that...

I agree regarding the commune-like situation, though I think I'd prefer a shared small hamlet rather than shared chores. I remember Plato said that best friends should live together, or something along those lines.

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