>I'm most curious on the age / background of those in this thread who do find it hurtful and offensive.

Me too. I feel that there is generational shift.

For me, abusive means that someone picks you as a permanent target and treats you badly consistently.

I'm completely fine with people calling me with names over some issues when it's clear that they are fighting against me over some specific issue. I'm allowed to use strong words as well. When the subjects changes, there is no hostility. That's how you know you are dealing with emotional person who is not abusing you.

Picking up text fragments and analyzing one email for triggers that can be labeled as "abusive" seems so weird. I guess I feel that there is difference between "abusive language" and abusive and others don't see it.