If you want to spend a bunch of time with your family and work 35 hours a week, guess what man, you can't drive a nice car, own a big house in Los Altos, or send your kids to private school. Pick a lifestyle and accept the drawbacks that come with it.
There's seriously nothing wrong with moving to a second tier city and making 60k/yr. Let the people who love stress and success do their thing in the Bay Area